all I want is
all I want is
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Saturday 29 April 2017
Thursday 13 April 2017
Just start
It doesn't have to be perfect it just needs to be done...
A perfectionist mantra.
Turns out I forgot all about it and the simple "Just Start" and I've not been blogging that much since September, eek. I just want each post to be perfect or exciting or different, just more. But then anxiety kicks in and I don't have a deadline and then not much happens, but here I am midnight and just having a crack (and four days later editing the post).
Since I've started filming I forgot how focused, passionate, driven, determined and see how much I demand of myself for each and every take. It all seems to make sense when I follow my passion, who knew ;)
In a nine to five my passion and attention to detail gets lost in a job that doesn't require that much or with people who aren't demanding that same level of perfectionism. TBH it's not needed, it's me thats out of place not you girl. I know its unattainable to achieve perfect but fuck if we can't strive for the best whats the point.
I didn't realise I'd love film as much as I do. The passion on set, where everyone is trying to create art in all the ways we know and if we knock heads its because we are all trying to create it together. I'm currently blessed with time and it's so easy to get distracted but I on set my head is clear and focused. Theatre is amazing too but its easier to get distracted or there seems to be less urgent without a camera in front.
It's just nice to feel like you belong and yet again I found my place in this crazy ass world. First it was drama class then London that gave me that feeling and I lost it for a few years and now I'm not taking it for granted, I guess like how I treat London every time I touch the soil.
The mind and this world is a tricky place, just start and you will make your way to perfectionism or somewhere magically close and that is perfect.
love you
xx
#rssau
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